Moms’ Group – Session #8

26 Sep Moms’ Group – Session #8

TEACHING FORTITUDE

We would like that by the time our children are grown and ready to leave home, they are able to resist harmful influences, get through hard times with a sporting spirit and be able to positively overcome obstacles. These are all necessary for them to be successful in college, university, work, marriage and just plain living. It does not come built-in at birth and must be consciously taught to children from very young. What opportunities can you can advantage of in daily family life to develop these qualities in your children?

Over the next 10 minutes generate ideas on paper. Exchange ideas. Then, rather than providing all the info, ask questions: What about in the area of food, minor discomforts, sleep, homework, money, sports, use of time, etc.?

Now have a discussion how children can grow in toughness, resilience, courage and patience in the areas mentioned.

Talk about the benefits of building patience, resilience, courage and toughness now and in the years to come.  Discuss how not to give into tantrums and whining.

• Kids need proper objectives, true and genuine principles to more easily put up with difficulties

• If we teach our children to make great efforts, to overcome themselves, but fail to teach them what is right, they may in fact very successfully pursue wrong aims.

• Small kids live strictly in the present – link effort with love – “You made Mom so happy by doing this” is much better then “You’re such a good boy”

• Parents must be demanding from a very early age. Insist that your children do things that require an effort. Provide them with opportunities where they need to learn to stand firm.

• Know your child well so that you ask more of them without giving them too much to handle. Children either grow up to our expectations or down to them. Teach them:

  • You are stronger than you think… I know you are not a quitter… You can do this..

  • I have confidence in you… I’m proud of you…

  • Winning is not what counts, best effort is.

Your job as a parent is not to make life a bowl of cherries for your children. They must experience the pits. You are not to keep them always happy and compliant by giving into their whims and demands. Our aim is not quiet compliant children but strong, confident adults who will be willing to be in the world, without being worldly, willing to transform the world and not be fearful of it. If parents take up the slack or shield the children in order to protect them or make them happy, it is a disservice. The children learn nothing but being on the receiving end and also do not learn how to take suffering, failure, disappointment and how to begin again. If we want our children to be committed workers, loyal spouses and upright adults with solid moral principles, we must develop fortitude in them each day, taking advantage of discomforts, disappointments, lack of instant gratification, failure and suffering to teach them the true meaning of life and how to handle things with an optimistic sporting spirit. Your example, your demands, and your approaches lay the groundwork for how well they will resist harmful influences, overcome obstacles and pursue high ideals at all costs when they grow up.