Moms’ Group – Session #3

24 Sep Moms’ Group – Session #3

We are going to begin to discuss the virtue of order. Today we are going to deal with the aspect of time. Right from the time a baby is born, order of time is important – a time to eat, a time to sleep etc.

On your piece of paper, list all the different areas of life your child is effected by order and time. State why you think it is important that children develop this order.

Have each present to the others and add comments.

Summarize using some of the following:

We all have natural rhythms of eating, sleeping, need for exercise etc. When we respect the way we were made and take good care of ourselves to order our time in that regard, we accomplish a lot more.

Ordering time refers to bed time routines, hygiene, meal times, play times, nap times, snack times, homework times, TV time, chore time,prayer time, etc.

When we can create a routine chain of events for an activity, it is easier to accomplish and bring the activity to completion. For example a Bed time routine could be to bath time, read a book together, get changed into pajamas, brush teeth, say prayers, hug and kiss, lights out, go to sleep. You start the chain of events always at a certain time, always following the same format. Eventually, the child gets used to the routine and will be easier to go to bed. Consistency is the key. It helps to keep it simple too so that future babysitters can follow it without much improvisation. It’s important to have enough sleep and set bedtime. Don’t let kids run the house in the evening. Parents need personal and couple time. Teach your children from the start to go to bed at a reasonable time.

You may even teach them what to do if they wake early. Have a basket of books beside their crib/bed so that they can occupy themselves looking through them. Once they know numbers, they can have a digital clock and you can indicate on a piece of paper at what time they are permitted to leave the room, for example 7:00 a.m.

Visuals for children are a great help. Parents can put the chain of events on paper in picture format. For example it’s great to put a chart of drawings on the bedroom wall indicating the progression desired: Make bed, get dressed, put pajamas away, brush teeth, comb hair, eat breakfast.

Another routine to develop is the Coming Home Routine. Whether with visuals or words, help your young children realize the order you expect. For example, Come home, hang jacket and backpack, shoes away, hug and hello to mom, come to kitchen snack, have a bit of a break, do homework etc.

Kids crave structure. It gives them a sense of security, order, predictability and control. The more order you can create in how the day goes, the easier they can anticipate what comes next and things won’t be so chaotic.

• With little kids, make a plan of how the day will go. Tell them what’s coming next so they can prepare for it. Give them warnings ie. In 10 minutes we will get our shoes on and go to the park. It helps them adjust from one activity to the next.

• Discuss with your family the events of the evening, or the weekend so that they see there is a plan.

• Motivate kids to make good their use of time. For example, after we finish cleaning up all the books off the floor, we will go have a snack.

• Help kids do hardest work earlier and not leave it till later.

• Use a school agenda for homework and studying.

Some kids have natural sense of order, others do not. Be patient, don’t compare.

• Use sticker charts to motivate series of expected behavior – Everyday they get a sticker for doing something important like making their bed, playing the piano etc. Have an agreed upon reward for the completion of so many repetitions, such as help choose the next family movie, choose the snack/dessert that day, stay up 10 minutes later etc.

Teach children the benefits of order:

• Helps us accomplish all the things we need to do and much more.

• Helps us not to inconvenience others.

• If we organize our time, we will have more time.

It’s important for a mom to be more ordered so that the family will run more smoothly. We teach by example.

• Set aside a certain time each day to organize and plan your cooking, errands, phone calls, meals, what your children will play, watch on TV etc. Be in the driver’s seat not under the wheels.

• The more efficient mom is the more time she has to pursue personal interests.

A schedule is very important.

• Helps us set goals, break them down into smaller pieces and finish them.

• Planning reduces worry and keeps motivation and momentum going.

• A plan lets you decide once. You cut down on indecision and interruption.

• Helps you get the most important things done first.

• Teaches us self-discipline

• Strengthens our will over our emotions/feelings/desire for comfort

• Get along more easily with the plans of others in the house

• Know expectations and meet them with less resistance

• Fosters security and well-being

Teach children that time is a treasure that we should not take for granted. So easy to waste and misuse it. It is so difficult to make up for lost, wasted or misused time. Sometimes it is even impossible.

That is why a schedule is important – which should not be in conflict with spontaneity.

Simple fact of life that if something is important to me I will make time for it.

A schedule will guarantee that you will take care of all the things you have to do in the right way and you will have time for friends, family and fun.

Mothers should use a schedule, whether on a piece of paper, day book, agenda, calendar, smart phone, or computer.

• The more we can keep track and plan, the less chaos we will feel.

• Lists are great but easily lost, discarded or destroyed.

• Calendar is an excellent central location for necessary information

• A daily/weekly agenda is an excellent tool

• Write what you have to do, want to do, could do

• Purposely schedule recreation

• When faced with choices ask which will accomplish the greater good.

• Break down tasks into bite size pieces. You will achieve goal faster and more happily.

• Schedules help you from over-programming or from scheduling non-essentials to the detriment of important matters.

• There are some free Links to downloads to help moms make better use of their time. Share example with moms in the group.