Moms’ Group – Session #2

24 Sep Moms’ Group – Session #2

Take 10 minutes and jot down all your ideas of the kind of person you hope your son or daughter will turn out to be at the age of 25. If you have trouble thinking it through, maybe consider what you would like the person they will marry to be like.

Have each person take a moment and present their ideas, allowing people to add on as they go.

Give a brief talk on character/virtue education based on the following:

• Many people will express that they want their children to be practicing their faith. Help them to break that down to the kinds of practices they hope for. You can help them think of more ideas by asking questions – what kind of a worker should they be?

• What kind of a friend would they be?

• Would their career choice or financial success matter?

• You want moms to realize that their son or daughter’s character will greatly determine their happiness and success, even more than their career choice.

• All that we hope from our children will come from having good values, good habits and good attitudes.

• These do not develop spontaneously, automatically or overnight. They are developed slowly over time, primarily by your example, words and demands.

• All these good qualities are basically strengths of character or virtue. They are good operative habits. In raising our children, we need to have this vision constantly in front of us so that we focus on the goals and can demand what is appropriate at the age to help them reach those goals.

• Realize each child comes into the world with a different set of character strengths and weaknesses. Over time they become more apparent. As parents we know our children better than anyone. It is important that we constantly think about where they need challenging, toning down, encouragement – so that they will grow up to have a more balanced character.

• It is very good then to discuss our children’s character strengths with our spouse, their teachers, coaches etc. to see where they can improve.

Now throw out another question to get more discussion rolling:

• Parents can take advantage of many natural opportunities in family life to help them grow in virtues they are weak in. Who can give an example? Go through many.

• Also there are key moments in a child’s development when certain virtues are naturally prime to be internalized. For example a good sense of order is more easily taught before school begins, then as a teenager. They will both have areas of that virtue to grow in, but a lot of groundwork will be done in the early years. Similarly a 3 year old cannot understand the virtue of friendship the way a teenager could. Different ages have different virtues that are easiest to internalize. When parents know what they are, and how to inculcate them, they have an easier time developing character. However, we are not making perfect children and we will not see perfect children as a result. We are promoting maturity and integrity by being deliberate in fostering good habits. Our children are free beings, each following their own unique path. The key is that we are fostering good growth by consciously aiming for it.

• Provide as a handout David Isaacs’ List of Virtues.

• A great book to own and show to the group is Michelle Borba’s “Don’t Give Me That Attitude” as it lists all the problem behaviors children exhibit and strategies to counterbalance and overcome through virtues. Very practical and insightful.

To finish this session state that in the first 7 years of life, the three key virtues to stress are order, obedience and sincerity. Over the next while, we will look at these three virtues in depth.