23 Sep Kids and Sexuality
How would you like your children to learn about life, love, and sexuality? Who would you like them to hear it from? A child in the school yard, a teen magazine, the internet, the classroom teacher, some TV program or from you? They all have something to say on the matter. Does it make a difference to you who it will be? Why? What’s the big deal? Who do you think should be the one?
The United Nations Declaration on Human Rights recognizes parents as the primary educators of their children. The family is the most fundamental unit of society. It offers an intimate, personal and continuous “society in miniature” where children can learn to live and love in a relationship. Here values are transmitted through daily living. Parents know their children best – their temperament, character, personality, their life experiences, the level of sensitivity, the degree of understanding etc. Parents are by far in the best position to speak naturally to their children about these important matters. They teach not just by their words, but primarily by their example and the habits they foster in their children.
On the other hand, the classroom presents a different kettle of fish. Each teacher instructs the curriculum requirements on this subject with varying degrees of comfort and depth. There is usually a mixture of boys and girls. There’s a lot of giggling. Students possess different degrees of knowledge, exposure, and experience. Many feel uncomfortable hearing the material in a group setting. Some have quite the avant-garde questions to raise. Your young child is in the midst of it. Undoubtedly, it is not the best setting for your child to hear about these topics for the very first time. What can you do about it?
Find out what is taught in each grade at school and at what point and in what manner it will be presented. Ask to borrow that grade’s textbook on sexuality at the beginning of the year to get a sense of what is covered. Many programs offer a parent’s manual. You are the primary educator and realize you have a right to pull your son/daughter out of classes dealing specifically with sex. Learn more on this. Do so always with charity, with a great desire to fulfill your role as a primary educator rather than condemning the program. Regardless of your choice of action, be the first person to broach the subject with your son/daughter before they hear it elsewhere. It shows how much you value them and love them.
Wise parents make themselves the compass point for their children. Be aware of the influences your child experiences from social media and the internet. I encourage you to watch the documentary Childhood 2.0 on youtube. Here is the trailer for it. It is necessary to be aware and also to put controls on all our devices, as our children are quick and adept at accessing much undesirable content.
Parents should encourage on-going dialogue with their child about authentic love and sexual integrity from an early age. Unfold the beautiful wonder and sacredness of sex to their child. How easily parents can adapt to their child’s level of curiosity, sensitivity, and understanding. They are not just transmitting knowledge, but a vision of life, love, and real happiness. A successful approach forms the head and the heart to will what is most beneficial for the lover and the beloved. Good choices lead to future romance without regrets. To achieve this, parents need to speak attractively, reasonably and truthfully on the topic in a truly beautiful fashion. Kids want to find love in life, but can be easily seduced by pleasure and passion. Show them how to find genuine love in all its splendor. Regardless, be the reference point for your children. Lead them to authentic love. Their future happiness may depend on it.
There is much that can be said on the topic. Most parents are shy, quite uncomfortable, or do not know what to say or where to begin. There are lots of good resources out there to help you. Some are listed below. I highly recommend the small booklet Tips for Talking to Your Kids about Sex printed by CanaVox. It gives you word-for-word explanations for each developmental stage and covers the current topics of our culture, helping you to talk with ease about your principles and values. Take advantage to create a good library of materials in your home to help you along the way. Realize you are constantly teaching in bits, bites, nibbles and steak-size pieces all through your parenting years. You have an awesome privilege before you!
Various individuals have submitted their “off the top of their head” suggestions on raising kids with sexual integrity. Here is their Input
As well here are some more ideas based on my reading, practical experience, and advice I received from veteran parents during my years as a parent.
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