14 Mar Not Feeling Great
Sometimes in life we go through moments where we feel we are going down the drain turbo-boost. Lack of sleep, financial worries, problems in relationships, a baby who never seems to sleep or other problems seem to unplug all our energies and send us spiraling into a dark pit. It can even be just lack of sunshine and a long, long winter indoors. We feel totally overwhelmed, buried in a pit of sadness, seeing no hope at the end of the tunnel. Our pessimistic feelings seem to rule the roost. We may feel we are at the end of the rope.
Hang on. There is hope. People care deeply about you. Your sense of happiness is important to them. Grab the bull by the horns and pull yourself out from the pit. Strengthen your good desires. You are tougher than you think and God will not abandon you. Here are some things to consider.
- Take a time out. Reflect what is going on to put you in this mood. Become self-aware: something that happened in a key relationship that’s upset you? challenges with the kids? exhaustion? that time of the month? worrying about the future? Write it down, all of it. Sometimes just externalizing it all onto a piece of paper helps us sort it all out and put it in perspective. Maybe your expectations need to be adjusted. Maybe you haven’t taken care of yourself. Maybe too much has been happening and you need to slow things down to recover. Reflect, process, make a plan to move forward. Remember the saying, “Inch by inch, it’s a cinch; yard by yard, it’s very hard”.
- Try to get more sleep. Whether you go to bed much earlier one night a week, or just ½ an hour earlier every night till things blow over, get more sleep. If you can take a nap, go for it. If that’s not possible, lie horizontal for 15 minutes to rest. Your body needs it when you are going through stressful times.
- Make sure you take your vitamins. Pregnancies and stress have depleted your resources and you may need a boost. Talk to your pharmacist and doctor to find out what’s best for you. I wouldn’t go through a day without them. Keep track of your iron levels because they greatly determine your energy level. Know that iron is better absorbed when Vitamin C and Vitamin B Complex are taken with it. Talk to your doctor to have your iron checked and monitored.
- Eat properly as grandma would say. You need good wholesome food to keep your physical gas tank full. Check out a good nutrition book and see how you can balance your meals better. If you have a demanding life, up your protein. Include protein at every meal, whether as nuts, eggs, cheese, legumes, meat, seafood, tofu, etc. Also increase your veggies as much as you can. You need more strength to sustain you.
- Everyday go for a walk or do some sort of exercise, either by yourself, with a family member or a friend. A good cardio workout for just 15 minutes a few times a week, can help you feel much, much better. It will help you have a higher tolerance for the chaos of kids and strengthen your nerves. Fresh air, movement and a change of scenery often do the trick. Know too that being out in nature is a great healing remedy. Seeing, hearing and touching nature soothes the soul.
- Make an effort to call, write or message a friend each day. You need the enrichment they can provide. We women all go through emotionally challenging moments. Don’t be afraid to confide in another woman whether same age or even much older. You are not supposed to be superwoman. We all have struggles. We need to feel normal, accepted and loved. Bottom line, we need each other. Sometimes just sharing your hairy-scary day helps you to laugh, gain perspective and feel accompanied. Don’t be afraid to reach out. It’s a game changer. Also be courageous in asking for help. Ask if they can take your kids for a bit, go for a walk or just pray for you. That’s what friends are for. They care about you. You need them now. Let them give you a hand.
- Focus on the positive. Stick a piece of paper on the fridge or wall of your kitchen. Write down everything and anything that goes right in your day -— the sun came out and it didn’t rain. The kids said good morning. A friend called. Whatever. Start keeping track of all the little good things happening. When you feel you’re at rock bottom, read them. Get your kids to add to your list. Help drown out the yuck you are feeling, by the good that is really there.
- Be proactive and create good memories. Make a big effort to do things that you enjoy -—reading a good book, watching a great movie, hiking, getting a babysitter, shopping, date with your husband etc. Go to the hairdressers, go out for lunch with a friend, just listen to the birds sing. Treat yourself and find ways to up your mood. Whether in bits and bites, or big chunks, carve time out to take care of yourself. When you’re a happy camper, the rest of the gang follows. It’s not selfish time, it’s self-care. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself!! It will make a big difference.
- Keep a schedule. Don’t let tough times paralyze you. Focus on the good you can do for others, even if just one small act a day. Brainstorm ideas, people to visit, something you could share (homemade cookies, a craft you made). Find ways to make other people happy – writing a letter, sending a card, popping in for a visit, volunteering, making a meal for someone, dropping off some flowers. The list is endless. When you brighten people’s lives, you’ll see that it won’t take long yours will be aglow too!
- Don’t hesitate to speak with your doctor. We all pass through challenging moments. You may be facing post-natal depression, hormonal imbalance, burn out or some other malady. This is normal for many women. You are not alone. The advice you get from the doctor may go a long way to recovery. You can get a referral that may make all the difference. Take care of yourself. You are an irreplaceable and highly valuable individual. There is no one else like you. So many people would like to see a smile on your face. Don’t neglect to do all it takes to put it back on.
- Most importantly pray. When your gas tank is running on near empty and all that you do seems pointless, don’t forget how much God loves you. He made you. If He stopped thinking about you, you’d cease to exist. He is thinking of you right now and He has permitted these circumstances for your personal growth. You may not see it now, but one day you will. Go to Him. Tell Him how your struggle is going, how much you need His help, His guidance, His strength. Keep at it. You need to let your spiritual muscles grow and this is the moment. Let God be your teammate. Being all powerful, all knowing, all loving, He is wonderful to lean into. He will not disappoint you.
- Carrots, Eggs & Coffee Author Unknown
- Less Is Best
- The Agony of Losing A Child by Caroline Yates
- Wonder Woman or Woman of Wonder by Caroline Pignat
- Dr. Meg Meeker: On Hope