01 Mar My Kid is Driving Me Crazy!!!
Babies come into the world so cute and cuddly. Some are colicky, which is no picnic. Regardless we do have a learning curve to learn how to navigate diapers, feedings, sleepless nights and so forth. We are so enamored by our baby’s first smiles, their cooing and all their first’s – first step, first word, etc. etc. These precious moments help us treasure our motherhood moments.
However babies grow into toddlers and life takes on new dimensions. Curiosity, exploration, discovering limits and testing them become the terrain of adventure for every child. Not all is wonderful and beautiful. Terrible two’s overflow into three’s and sometimes four year olds. Where did that little angel go? What is happening? Why is my child misbehaving so often and not listening to me?
Children grow physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically. We certainly see that if they are left to their own devices, they don’t always choose what is good, safe and even reasonable. We as parents love our children and want the best for them. You may enjoy a super simple good read on teaching good habits called The Family Virtues Guide by Linda Kavelin Popov.
As the years pass we realize children do not always obey, are impacted by all kinds of stimuli and can develop habits that drive us round the bend. Sometimes it’s their temperament, like the choleric child who is strong-willed and determined to out last you in every battle. Sometimes it’s their fatigue, hunger or worry that throws them into tantrums that wear us down. They get to know us well over the years, and push all our buttons, sometimes skillfully and on purpose to get their way.
No parent has perfect kids. All kids push buttons at some time or other. Parents suffer a lot of wear and tear trying to figure out how to help kids behave. Juggling marriage, work and other challenges can add to the situation. When my kids were all practically grown up, I stumbled across two books that were absolutely amazing. I wish I had them years ago! I highly recommend them for parents. Consider even gifting them when your friends have another child born. They offer help at the tip of their fingers when there seems no time to scratch your nose.
Dr. Michele Borba is internationally renowned for her research as an educator of character. Every book she has written is a gem that offers effective, practical, hands on advice. If you like the word virtue, character or good habits, you should look into this author.
Today I want to recommend two of her books for your home library. Both of these books catalogue all the bad attitudes and behaviors that kids could possibly come up with. In each case, Borba gives diagnosis, looks at causes, comes up with strategies and helps you develop a realistic plan of action to build the good habits that are missing. At the end of each chapter she provides lists of resources you can further rely on to keep you going. She even gives a list of books/movies kids can watch to attract them to the good for each chapter of “Don’t Give Me That Attitude”.
So let me wet your appetite to pick up one of these books, whether new or second hand. You’ll be using them for years.
No More Misbehavin’: 38 Difficult Behaviors and How to Stop Them deals with the following chapter topics – Anger, Anxiety, Biting, Bossiness, Bullied, Bullying, Chore Wars, Cynicism, Defiance, Doesn’t Listen, Fighting, Giving Up Easily, Hitting, Homework Battles, Hooked on Rewards, Impulsivity, Intolerance, Lack of Friends, Lying and Cheating, Materialistic, Meanness, Negative Peer Pressure, Over-perfectionism, Poor Sportsmanship, Put-Downs, Rudeness, Selfishness, Short Attention Span, Shyness, Sibling Battles, Stealing, Swearing, Talking Back, Tattling, Teased, Temper Tantrums, Whining and Yelling.
Don’t Give Me That Attitude: 24 Rude, Selfish Insensitive Things Kids Do and How to Stop Them has chapters on these bad attitudes – Arrogant, Bad-Mannered, Bad-Tempered, Cheats, Cruel, Demanding, Domineering, Fresh, Greedy, Impatient, Insensitive, Irresponsible, Jealous, Judgmental, Lazy, Manipulative, Narrow-Minded, Noncompliant, Pessimistic, Poor Loser, Selfish, Uncooperative, Ungrateful, Unhelpful.
I have not seen anything like this anywhere. It’s like having a counsellor readily available to share wisdom and advice. It might not be the magic wand, but it is handy information for you to dive into a plan of action as soon as possible.
The aim is not to have perfect kids but to help our kids be better, to train them in being good. We cannot control them, but we do need to guide them and try our best to help them want to be good. For this to happen, we need to have a positive attitude and positive approach. Michele Borba does an amazing job in providing a quick toolbox to get to work.